feel tender

         I thought it was all about me..but right now.. I know..it never happen so..it was never happen as what I thought.. what I thought before it was all wrong.. I really don’t know how to felt.. my sensation towards feeling suddenly feel numb..what I knew know..my tears is just like crytallize in the lacrimal..it just so painful..its try to push out on my cheek..my I just couldn’t squeeze any drop of it..

If I knew this gonna happen,. I won’t watch you pretty much tenderly.. I swear I just won’t do if I knew the implication this complex..

      I thought those eyes won’t never change,. I thought that heart will never change.. I thought those ears will never change..but now it seem like everything change.. but,. I know it wasn’t just you..it was me too..it just felt like chest being open and my heart taken out and crushed hard on the ground when I know you getting far away from me apart from I’m running from you..right now.. I do regret to realise the fact I did left you before..

      But then, it wasn’t just about me alone.. it was about you too.. I thought I can do anything.. I can fight this war without leave a scar..but right at this moment I know my feeling injured badly..and it because of me..and it just become too late…when I just can’t trace your shadow though I see right you infront of me..

  Occasionally,. I know it was my own fault…neither I can’t erase those memory nor cry to reduce the sore of this pain..either to watch you tenderly or catch you back and keep you,. I won’t do them both..because this pain would be more placeful for someone tender like me..

AddIcteD

       I just felt like cursing on someone just now,.but when I reprocessed my anger back in my lobes of the brain and think more wisely.. thinking that today is Friday’s night..that’s mean its not good do something bad!..so I just try to suppress all those feeling and keep inside..

     I rolling on my bed side by side,.than give sighs many many times..and I end up annoy with myself because I should be at the blame..those all my fault,. What I did before it just like a jerk try to think she is a saint!..and that feeling make me want to tear myself into million of pieces…

    Why…why..and why…I kept reminding myself TO DON’T JUST MAKE IMPRESSION OR IDEAS by just what I see,. I hear, or what other people say..I keep remind myself bout that.,but..It seems like when I saw something.. it just like someone just ‘mumbo-jumbo’ me…BOOM,.I FORGET MY OWN ADVICE TO MY OWNSELF!,.I will just straight away jump into conclusion,.and if my assumption always right,.it would be much,,much..and much better..but,.well..Its look likes all my that so I called ‘wise judgements’, .many of them were actually turned into accusations…and it makes me feel very BAD!!!

        BAD GIRL!!!grrrr… I feel very awkward …err no,.actually hate the careless thoughts of my brain..of course I do though many times I loved them..like now! I like it when it can actually help me express my hastiness toward it…though I realize my bad habit every time it turns into mischief behavior.. I just can’t change it…

     Well,. It isn’t because I don’t want to…coz I’ve tried everything…but it just kept recur everytime I see something.. it couldn’t be I must blind my eye to just make my habit invisible..it must have some other way…but what is it.PLEASE HELP ME!!!  :I..coz  it seem impossible for me right now.,TT__TT

   
yes..i know..this is not related to what i wrote..but,.hmm..it will look so what we call in malay 'kosong'..hehehe..that's why and how..:P