between fantasy and reality

       I  dream a lot lately..which also means I sleep a lot..no matter how many alarms I put in my phone..my body held back to stay asleep..my system don’t fight back at all..it just let ‘it’ take control my body without even my permission… I thought I would be pretty much angry about it..but I didn’t..my dreams relatively anoxious or perhaps partially noxios too.. it’s been a long time I don’t go thru these experiences.. I felt more lively in the dramas made by REM than the reality as now it’s hard for me to differentiate as its all jumble and mixed up already.. I feel confused but I don’t afford to do anything..

      I think a lot lately…maybe its make me have some kinds of ‘hallucination’ sometimes..make me rewind ‘things,people,and stuft’ which I saw in those dreams..its feel like its take the dreams occasionally take over my life over here bit by bit..and i just let it do it without any trials to stop it..its feel like my body enjoy them..

        And now.. I feel like I’m going to a crazy girl..feel euphoria like alternately with fright and sorrow..coz I keep hearing voice in my head keep calling me from the ‘other side of the world’ to close my eyes and empty out my thoughts and just be with them playing the roles of the dramas.and the funniest thing is the players of the game.. I know some of them from this world..

    How can I know right now I am in the reality or the ‘reality’..because both just seem same for me….which of which withdrawn me from my real life..the other side of life leaving the life to fate..and the other’s I don’t know..it just take me wherever it wants..because even its a fantasy,. I don't care,..

           Is it because I think to much??or am I that sick???because the voice become stronger and stronger  and the voice,.how lovely..and right now it ask me to lay down and just………………and let it take over me

no regret

 I know if it’s not meant for me..it will never be mine..though how hard I tried..though it just a step before me..i wont have it…but at least I’m trying..i know., it kinda stupid to hear to work on something that wont never give me a yield..but.,.

But..at least though I fail to get what I dream for.,I’m satisfied cause I’ve try very hard to find the happiness..though at last my life will become a mess.. I won’t ever blame myself for not tried hard to achieve my dreams..it will never become eeriest nightmare for me..

Yes.. it is a thorn that keep pricking my feeling..but though how painful it is..it worth from what my eye see,.so don’t try to stop me though it seem retard action from what I’m doing now.. just leave me alone in my own daydreams..because there is nothing to regret..